What I’ve Learned About Learning (and myself) Part I
We are a homeschooling family just about to wrap up our fourth year. I was inspired to write a little something about what I’ve learned about learning and about myself over these past few years after chatting with Teresa Wiedrick on her podcast: The Homeschool Mama Self-Care Podcast. She asked me this question beforehand, and I think it merits its own blogpost, or in this case two. So here we go!
Typical answer: I’ve learned that there are all types of ways to learn.
And now let’s get underneath the typical answer. You’re kind of in a freefall when you make the choice to homeschool, and it can feel like there’s no parachute release, and you’re grasping for a branch to grab hold of. What I’m describing is the moment you realize “school at home” is not going to work for your family, and you’ve got to find another way. Now what?! Well once you’ve made a less than graceful landing, you now have the space and time to really begin to view learning in a new way. And you start to notice how much learning is and has always been happening.
And it’s learning that exceeds beyond anything you might have thought to teach them. You’re also able to recognize some of the things they’re not well versed in yet, but are important, like self-awareness and lessons in the social-emotional category. Learning that brings knowledge about the place you live and the people that live there. Learning that encompasses diversity, other cultures, and belief systems, which by the way a good book list will cover. Read alouds are chock-full of conversation starters.
For instance, the book we recently finished, Peter Lee’s Notes from the Field by Angela Ahn discusses Korean culture and immigration to Canada, paleontology, the Canadian Rockies, hot springs in Banff, and the Royal Tyrell Museum in Drumheller. We witnessed characters experiencing a range of emotions, inner turmoil, and physical and mental challenges; and we talked about their motivations, their failures, and their triumphs. We discussed dementia for the first time and the ways it affects a person and their family, which then opened up conversations about our own family members’ experiences. In just one read aloud book, new facets of empathy and compassion were developed and expanded upon. This is the naturally unfolding learning I don’t have a lesson plan for.
I think sometimes people hear “learning” and think: structured reading & writing, STEM, etc. And that’s definitely true. Those things matter. But not necessarily more than your child’s natural curiosity and impulse to learn. And I think the environments we create at home can hold the positive aspects of all the ways we teach and learn.
I consider our homeschool very eclectic, meaning we gather inspiration from many philosophies and we don’t strictly follow one particular style. You’ll often observe self-directed learning happening in our home, and you’ll also see some structured foundational lessons as well. The kids follow rabbit trails of their own interests AND we use a math and spelling curriculum. They learn from all of it.
But there is a buy in. There’s a lot of trial and error. They have a huge say in which curriculums and resources they’d like to use, and the more they experience themselves benefitting from the knowledge they’re gaining, the more they buy in. They can see for themselves that this is working to help them grow. They’re able to read more advanced books and they can write a thank you note without asking for every single letter. They can do quick math in their heads, like when one of my kids wanted to know how many people the chair lift could hold at Sugarloaf while we were riding up the mountain and noting the number of chairs. They value these skills, so we stick with it, even when it gets hard.
They can choose whatever it is they want to do with this foundation and where they want to build up to next. But they can’t do it if I’m hell bent on following a philosophy that says I should mostly hesitate to share the things I’ve learned that are helpful to live your life because my kids didn’t ask for it yet. I follow their leads AND I recognize that they don’t know what they don’t know sometimes, and it helps to have a guide on terrain you’ve never traversed before. If I’m trying to get to the top of a mountain I’ve never gone up previously, I wouldn’t feel great about my guide only telling me to take the lead and declaring that she’d be following me. That’s intimidating, confusing, and even a bit scary. My motto is follow the child and follow your common sense as well. Work together and collaborate. Listen to each other and adjust. Share the wisdom that comes with emotional maturity. We risk losing common sense and silencing our intuition when we obsessively follow Instagram influencers (who we don’t really know in real life) and cling to their homeschool ideology and the stories they choose to share.
I’ve learned to leave plenty of room for deep dives in learning, especially with my oldest two who have taken the lead on their special interests. My youngest is still very active though, and requests more extra-curricular activities than her brother and sister combined. Basically, they’re all getting to learn what they want to learn and participate in what they want to participate in AND we still do some of what might be viewed by others as “traditional learning” even though it looks nothing like traditional school. The kids just call it learning.
I’ve learned that curriculum is not a dirty word..! There are so many great choices out there. Another one we use is Brave Writer for both grammar & mechanics and writing. This program encourages kids to find their voice before they master mechanics and essay structure, and I love that. Not only does it inspire their creativity, but it gives them another opportunity to value their own voice and who they uniquely are. As a result of all the independent reading my oldest has done and with some guidance from the Brave Writer curriculum, I’ve seen her naturally begin to correct and edit her own writing. So, while we do have some structure in the basics, and guidelines for expanding, she’s got complete freedom to write what she wants to, create whatever she’s feeling inspired to, and I’m not grading it. She doesn’t need me to. She observes her work from last year and can see for herself how much more she understands now. And that’s not a result of me taking a red pen to everything. It’s a result of time to progress at her own developmental pace.
Will it be this way for all three of my kids? I have no idea, and that’s kinda the fun of it. To see what this kid prefers and wants to do and how it unfolds. Do they all need explicit instruction from me sometimes? Absolutely. Would I be able to homeschool them in that style every day? Not a chance. There is a dance; there is a balance. There is freedom in structure. Too much of either one is stifling in its own way…
more to come in Part II
For my non-homeschooling readers: What has been your belief about home education? How did they develop and do you know them to be true? Could there be a benefit to cultivating a homeschooling spirit regardless of where kids learn?
For my homeschooling readers: How have your own views on homeschooling evolved since you first began? What do you wish people knew about learning at home? Could there be a benefit to cultivating some positive aspects of traditional schooling within the homeschooling environment?